This week, two of my children started new schools. One is a high school senior and the other is a sixth grader.Day Form – Both of them were afraid of change in their own way. I sympathize with that deeply.
I actually like it Idea But of change reality No, I always have to be on guard when I encounter new people and places, because I consciously feel incompetent.
I know it won’t last long. In fact, both kids came home pretty positive after the first few days. They had clearly gotten over their fear of change, which is usually much worse than reality.
Being anxious about something new, like school, is one thing, having to adjust and adapt to a new way of operating. But leaving something alone and doing nothing is different. At least in the short term, doing nothing.
Otherwise, nothing is as specific, systematic, and well-understood as a job.
Two people who participated in my group coaching extension program (called ‘Carry on Escapology’) turned in their IDs and laptops last week and started their new lives, but neither of them has yet defined what that new life will look like.
They have ideas, plans, and dreams. Through coaching, I help them make those dreams clearer. I also provide them with all the benefits of space and community—advice, experience, challenge, support—to help them process change and prepare for what’s next.
But ‘nothing’ can be scary, especially the thought of it.
My last day was the 30thDay It was November (4 years ago) and I didn’t expect to get much done in December. But I was deeply aware that January was coming. And the self-imposed pressure to know all the answers, the 90-day plan, the 9-5 frame of activities, the lines to impress former colleagues and future clients.
I had to be coached to not think like this. My honest coach, Mipha, called it “unintelligent thinking.” Maybe it was, but it was inevitable, given what I knew before, the routines and rules, and the expectations I had of myself as a “pretty Parisian office worker.”
The power of group coaching is that advice comes from all sides. I advised one of the people who left last week to build structure into their day. Another cautioned, “Don’t forget to make space in your daily structure.” I said, “Make space in your daily structure.” Another said, “I use Trello to plan my week, and I can use it to look back.”
It allows you to share real-life experiences in a matter of minutes, freeing the person to decide what to do.
As I mentioned last week, I am truly impressed by the power of group coaching.
And just how quickly people who (mostly) know each other can become vulnerable with each other on this forum. It’s as if we all quickly realized that we could get a lot more out of our sessions (now every two weeks) if we just let it all out and didn’t bullshit each other (and ourselves).
In one of my blogs last summer, I used that lovely word liminal. It’s the space between where you are neither. And it’s both an exciting place and a scary place.
It’s like your first day at a new school.
But that’s not necessarily the case. It might be good for you to stay in that liminal space, even if it’s uncomfortable. Even if every part of you wants to jump into a place that’s stable, recognizable, and safe.
Live a little longer in the midst of change, and good things will happen.
If you know anyone who is going through this kind of change and needs a safe place to figure out what to do next, I’m running for you. escapology live Again from September 16thDay – 5 weeks of calls, practice, curated discussions, and interesting, like-minded people.
I discovered Corporate Escapology at Waterstones Brussels this week (next to my hero Seth Godin’s book) and it was quite interesting! I would be eternally grateful if you could give me a (preferably 5 star) review on Amazon.. I missed 50 reviews by the end of August, can you help me get them in September?