European iPhones just got more fun

Since whining about stuff is a cherished American pastime, I’ll let it slide: In Europe, iPhones are more fun, and that’s not fair.

They’re getting all kinds of stuff. cool Regulatory bodies, not like general regulatory bodies, third-party app stores, browsers can run their own engines, Fortnite, And now, what if there was a way to replace many of the default apps? I want that too! What if Chrome on iOS wasn’t just a small, rickety Safari emulator? Imagine downloading a new dialer app with a fart soundboard and setting it as your default app! Sadly, Apple doesn’t seem interested in sharing this possibility with everyone.

But aside from emulators and the reluctant introduction of RCS, Apple seems interested in doing the bare minimum to avoid regulatory interference. It’s starting to look like the company is selling two different iPhones: one for Europeans and one for everyone else. Oddly enough, especially since Apple’s job is to keep things simple and consistent. But the company is so committed to keeping the two separate that it won’t even allow you to update your apps on third-party app stores if you’ve been out of the EU for more than a month.

Here’s the thing: wouldn’t it be good business to give everyone the same choice, no matter where they live? Apple didn’t make two different iPhones to appeal to different cultural preferences. It made one that was more flexible and customizable, and one that wasn’t.

Maybe Apple will give in a little and offer the same thing as they did in the emulator. But I think the company should take an unusual step. Let’s not be pretentious and let everyone have the same iPhone everywhere. It would be bold! It would be brave! But most importantly, it would be much more fun.